Tuesday, May 17, 2011

autism.

So I don't have it, I'm positive, like, I think I would have been diagnosed by now, if I had.
I was visiting my friend this weekend, in Indiana, and I'll admit, I'm a pretty fucking random person.
I hate awkward silence, or any silence, and so I just ramble and talk.
Well I said something like, "Wow, all birds seem to only fly in only pairs here." And my friend was like, "lol okay.."
And then I said something stupid about talking dogs and if they would tackle me or kiss me if they escaped their fence.
And she says, "The things you say- it's like you have autism."

I was like hm... I laughed, because she meant it as a joke.. not that autism is funny... but whatever.
But it got me thinking.. that I think differently than other people.. I keep thinking how I think differently.
Maybe I see things differently, the world? Idk.. but she put that stupid idea in my head.
That I am different.And it makes me upset.
And it's all I can think about.
I don't want to be different.

I fucking think weird.


-Birds in Indiana fly in pairs.
-The round-about sign looks like a sun.
-What are dogs thinking?
-Can you feel clouds if you get high enough?

1 comment:

  1. It's possible, I was only diagnosed like 2 years ago, and about 3 years ago my friend said to me "you're a bit autistic"

    I think differently to others. If there's a silence or if I haven't spoken in a while I'd just make a noise - make gun noises or something.

    Focus on the positives of thinking differently - for me, I'm significantly better at maths than at my other subjects - so I'm gonna do maths at uni as I enjoy it

    Or, I remember little details - like numbers, so I know what room I'm in for every lesson, I know what page my homework is, I know how many cals are in xyz etc, or I love making words out of number plates "FE02 DFY" < the FeO2 is like iron oxide.

    Try and focus on the positives of thinking "differently" because it's not a bad thing - it's a good thing. Probably sounds cliche but it shows your special lol. I mean like, I know lots of people who struggle with maths, but I look at a sum like "x = 729/1031" - and that's the type of trait that will be beneficial to the work place, because theres little people who think like that. The same applies to you, if you do think differently to others, well, it's a benefit right? No one wants to be a clone of each other and the traits which you may have with others may not can be very beneficial.

    Sorry if that's all been "me me me", I was trying to explain and I have trouble explaining :] take care, xxxxxxx

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