a-l-c-o-h-o-l.

So tomorrow (today, really) is my best friends birthday. We're getting stir fry for it with a big group, then breaking off and drinking at my friends sisters house.
I think I'll ask a friend to split a bowl of stir fry with me, that way she can eat it and I can pick around, unnoticed. As always.

I'm never worried about drinking alcohol, worried about the calories, I mean. I ALWAYS weigh less the next day after drinking, from dehydration, I'm sure, but it makes me feel better for a swift second, nonetheless. I always get so drunk, so that I for sure throw up. I'm disgusting and horrible for doing that, but I feel like I have to- okay, maybe I am worried about the calories.

I kept my fortune cookie fortune today.. well, it was my friends cookie, but she got 2 so she let me open her first one.. Anyways, it nearly made me cry. It says, "Be as willing to take advice as to give it."
That's so me. The fortune gods were calling me, lol. I always give advice, I feel like, I love giving advice and helping people. And whenever someone gives me advice, I feel unworthy of it, to horrible of a person to actually take it and apply it to my life.
I think once I get past that, I can think about getting healthy. Yeah right.

Oh, I was thinking how thin my hair is today. It's really gross, so ugly. I should always keep it curly now, because at least that makes it look fuller. I wore it straight today and I wanted to die. So gross.

So cliche and stupid, but I feel like I'm in a black hole and will never be able to get out.

-Lilly, now I'm addicted to Bon Iver, bitch. ;) lol jk, he's amazing! So calming, seriously, I'm in love.