I'm really starting to get pissed off that I can't see this "thin" girl other people see.
Even strangers.
"She's about as thin as you and she's 50, she runs marathons."    *dies inside as they check me out*


Where is she when I look into the mirror????
It's literally driving me insane trying to find her.



I feel awful, I want to cry.. Someone I look up to is starting to figure out how I tick- how I'm losing weight and noticing. I feel so embarrassed and ashamed that this is who I am compared to this person. They actually like me as an individual, respect me, etc. And this is what I do.

Fuck me.