holy $%^&*;

Decided I'm gonna try and eat way more calories tomorrow. Idky. I just want to attempt it. See if I can, ya know? I'm gonna eat 660 calories. Sure not really healthy still, but I usually eat 0-300. So, double. I know it's gonna be really hard. And writing it all out scares the shit out of me. But here's what I'm gonna try to eat.

Breakfast: 1 banana, vanilla yogurt. - 185 calories.
Lunch: Chicken salad. - 155 calories.
Dinner: 2 Clementines and dinosaur oatmeal. - 270 calories.
Snack: 1/2 cup grapes. -50 calories.

I think that's 660, right? lol.

I'm getting very nervous thinking about it. Well, writing about it.. it makes me want to vomit I'm so nervous. But I don't have to do it if I don't want to. But I want to try. I really do. Do I? Shit. ^&*()&^&*(*@^*($*(@&$.. Idk. Shit is so hard. I can barely sit up at school.. or focus.. or remember what the hell we did 5 minutes after class is over. I want to die when I'm working out.. I have no energy and I'm depressed all the time. I want to try. 660. Nice number. Maybe I'll add a pickle.. that way it'll be 665. and I love 5's. lol.

I hate this.


edit: idk, can i edit these? lol. well i changed it to 600 calories. i like that number better. maybe i'll still keep the pickle and make it 605 lol. i'm such a freak. i took out one clementine and these baco things on my salad. i love bacos but i haven't had them in years and idk that i'm ready to eat them yet. okay i'm rambling.

edit edit: idk. this is stupid. that banana scares me. bananas scare me. they are too long. too much. so many bites. so many pieces. even if i cut them up, there will be a ton of food. of banana. maybe i'll have the yogurt only. maybe i'll forget about this whole thing tomorrow (today?) when i wake up..