:(

I hate that people change.

There's only been 1 consistent friend in my life.

I hate that people change and you can't rely on them anymore.

I feel like I lost a piece of me.

Things are different.

I need to take lax but I'm holding off until Thursday.

I need to go to bed.

I need to study.

I just desperately want to be alone.

If I have no friends no one can hurt me.

They don't even know what they're doing.

I've been super out of control with eating.

I'm less restrictive and I'm binging almost every night..

or whenever I can get a chance, really..

I do it at night because I'm alone and I can push the wrappers or boxes to the bottom of the trash.

Or I do it when my family leaves the house for a bit.

I just need that constant stimulation or I'm a nervous wreck, thinking about it until I shove something in my mouth.

Tomorrow I'm not eating

But I've said that for four mornings...

What's happening to me?

I need control back in my life but everything is spiraling.

School controls everything I do.. whether or not I sleep, go out, watch TV, spend time with my family or 'friends'.. whether or not I can work out or prepare my meals.

School is disruptive and I can't wait until 5 weeks is over and I can go back to my routine.

I'm going crazy.