Suffering happens

Jer 17:17

The path of the Christian is not always bright with sunshine; he has his seasons of darkness and of storm. True, it is written in God's Word, "Her ways are ways of pleasantness, and all her paths are peace;" and it is a great truth, that religion is calculated to give a man happiness below as well as bliss above; but experience tells us that if the course of the just be "As the shining light that shineth more and more unto the perfect day," yet sometimes that light is eclipsed. At certain periods clouds cover the believer's sun, and he walks in darkness and sees no light. There are many who have rejoiced in the presence of God for a season; they have basked in the sunshine in the earlier stages of their Christian career; they have walked along the "green pastures" by the side of the "still waters," but suddenly they find the glorious sky is clouded; instead of the Land of Goshen they have to tread the sandy desert; in the place of sweet waters, they find troubled streams, bitter to their taste, and they say, "Surely, if I were a child of God, this would not happen." Oh! say not so, thou who art walking in darkness. The best of God's saints must drink the wormwood; the dearest of his children must bear the cross. No Christian has enjoyed perpetual prosperity; no believer can always keep his harp from the willows. Perhaps the Lord allotted you at first a smooth and unclouded path, because you were weak and timid. He tempered the wind to the shorn lamb, but now that you are stronger in the spiritual life, you must enter upon the riper and rougher experience of God's full-grown children. We need winds and tempests to exercise our faith, to tear off the rotten bough of self-dependence, and to root us more firmly in Christ. The day of evil reveals to us the value of our glorious hope.

fuck you school.

I just made a post on this on PT but I still have thoughts in my head and didn't want to go all ranty on PT because no one reads that shit.


I hate school. I literally hate it with everything in my body. Chemistry takes up so much of my time, and statistics, and neuroscience, and even stupid Spanish and English. I'm not exaggerating when I say that I sit on my ass doing homework for 8 hours a day, 3 days a week. And the other 2 days I'm doing homework for at least 4 hours. Not joking. I can't do it anymore, seriously, I can't. I never want to go to sleep Sunday nights because I know I'll have to wake up and it will be the start of a whole new week of fucking hell.

Getting straight A's this semester has been killing me. My eating has been worse than ever and I've been a lot more depressed obviously. I really hate school. I used to love it. I loved studying and learning and showing teachers that I know their material. But now it's too fucking much.

One week and it's over and I get a week break before summer school. For 4 weeks I have speech class 4 days a week for 3 hours. That won't be that bad. But then after 4 weeks, I'm taking two 8-week courses, chemistry and a nutrition class from 9-5, 4 days a week. I don't know if I can do this?


Okay rant over. One week. One week. One week.

robert frost

Saw a PT profile with some lines from this poem and I liked it.

Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening

Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village, though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep. 

no title, bitch.

Wilting slowly.
what more do you want from me
falling
so
slowly

Breaking down
can I give anymore
of myself
to
you

Needing you
to stop me
before
I
Break

Wanting to see
if I'm worth
all
you
have.

xxx

Do you ever feel
already buried deep?
6 feet under
scream
but no one seems to hear a thing?